


Never Ready to Leave

by kimpotato



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimpotato/pseuds/kimpotato
Summary: But what does it mean—‘ephemeral’?” repeated the little prince, who never in his life had let go of a question, once he had asked it.“It means, ‘which is in danger of speedy disappearance.’”
Relationships: Choi Minki | Ren/Kim Jonghyun | JR, Hwang Minhyun/Kim Jonghyun | JR, Kang Dongho | Baekho/Kim Jonghyun | JR, Kim Jonghyun | JR & Nu'est Ensemble, Kim Jonghyun | JR/Aaron Kwak | Aron
Comments: 21
Kudos: 45





	Never Ready to Leave

_“This house is haunted,_

_but not in the way that you've always heard it said.”_

_– “Never Ready to Leave,” Sherwood_

“I’m home.”

Jonghyun wearily took off his shoes and tucked them in the shoes’ rack. As he stepped inside the small living room, he was greeted by silence—the kind that seeps inside, all the way down to the bone.

“Ah, right.”

Most days he remembered, but once in a while he still slipped, especially when his day was full from morning to evening, with little to no breaks in-between except for quick naps in the car as their manager drove him to his next schedule.

On those days he forgets that his little family does not live in the same dorm anymore.

On those days, Jonghyun forgets that he is now alone.

***

It started with Minhyun.

He had told them about his plans, months before he was scheduled to come back from his two-year stint with another group. 

They all took it in stride, accepted the fact that it was part of the natural course of things. After all, they had lived together since they were teenagers, five young boys with the same dream, who shared the same hardships and made the same sacrifices, and finally succeeded, albeit a lot later than they had hoped.

It wasn’t until Minhyun got an offer to be featured in a TV show about famous people living alone that Jonghyun sat him down to discuss their options.

“I think it’s a good opportunity,” he preluded their conversation, always the supportive brother and leader.

Minhyun nodded silently, a contrast to his usual chatty self. Jonghyun knew his co-member was waiting for him to mention the elephant in the room. He sighed.

“But yes, it might cause a small uproar, especially since it’s scheduled to air so near the comeback.”

Of course they were all aware how some fans were hoping for a dorm mini-series, now that the group was back together. They never acknowledged it publicly, never made any promises that it would happen, mostly because they had become more careful with sharing their private lives once they gained more recognition.

It was sad, and ironic, and Jonghyun sometimes hated it, but he knew that it was one of the many costs of fame.

“I don’t think the network would change the schedule, but should we try and ask anyway?”

Jonghyun shook his head, knowing that things rarely worked out well for artists who make “unreasonable” requests to producers and sponsors. The last thing he wanted was for Minhyun to be branded as demanding and spoiled. 

“We’ll handle it if things get out of hand,” he promised, squeezing Minhyun’s shoulder in a way that promised him support.

Minhyun clasped the hand on his shoulder and squeezed it in return. “Thank you,” he whispered, eyes full of trust and gratitude.

And they did handle it—him and Minhyun—writing letters in the fancafe to calm down disappointed fans, assuring them that they were still a team, a family. 

They managed to quell the fandom’s worries and anger.

Mostly.

***

With Minhyun paving the way, Aaron and Dongho moved out of the dorm in the same month, one after the other. 

Aaron left first, opting to buy a place that could house both him and his canine family. Noah was becoming a handful, and with Kkotsoonie’s adoption in process, Aaron decided that it was time to move out and give his children a more comfortable place to live in. 

Jonghyun felt sad not only because his hyung had to leave, but also because he loved Noah like his own. He had helped Aaron raise it, even sneakily feeding the shiba snacks when his owner wasn’t looking.

“I’ll come visit often,” he promised Noah, playing with him as Aaron packed the rest of his stuff. 

The oldest member smiled. “Why do I feel you’ll miss Noah more than you’ll miss me?”

Jonghyun grinned, eyes twinkling, as he gave the shiba a belly rub. “What makes you say that?”

Aaron laughed and shook his head. Face growing somber, he sat beside his dongsaeng. “You know I’m just a phone call away, right? You can always come by the flat whenever you miss my cooking.”

Jonghyun nodded, even as his heart ached. “Or just cook here. This house is still yours as much as it is ours.”

Aaron wrapped his arm around Jonghyun’s shoulder and patted him gently on the head. “And my house is yours.”

It didn’t lessen any of the loneliness Jonghyun felt, but at least it gave him some warmth.

***

Dongho didn’t really move out as much as he stopped regularly coming home to sleep. As he became more involved in producing their songs, he spent more and more time in the studio, bunking in with Bumzu so they could easily work on songs when inspiration hit them.

On off days Dongho usually went home to Jeju and spent the weekend with his mother and brother. Jonghyun understood why Dongho does this—he was now the head of the house, and with it came responsibilities that Jonghyun would probably never have, being the maknae in their family.

He still misses him though, even after he and Mingi moved to a smaller dorm, one with two rooms instead of four, and just stashed Dongho’s stuff in plastic containers, in case their friend decided to stay the night.

Jonghyun would never admit it to anyone, but he gets excited whenever Dongho tells them that he’s crashing in the dorm for the weekend. Sometimes the main vocalist cooks and sometimes he tries to play video games with Jonghyun.

“You really suck at this,” Jonghyun laughed as Dongho’s character died for the fifth time since they started playing. “We should have made a bet that the loser gets to cook dinner.”

Dongho snorted and tossed the console down Jonghyun’s game table. “Might as well tell me what you want to eat because there’s no way I’m winning against you anyway.”

Jonghyun grinned. “Giving up so soon?” he teased, true to their dynamic as the Dong and Jjery of the family.

Dongho made a face that made Jonghyun bark in laughter. They both stood, walked out of Jonghyun's room, and headed for the kitchen. 

“What time is Mingi coming home?” Dongho asked as he opened the fridge, frowning. Jonghyun guessed it was because there weren't really any ingredients that they could use to make a decent meal.

“Nine,” he answered, sitting on the counter. “You want to order? It’s too cold to eat out.”

Dongho nodded, hand already reaching for his phone. “We didn’t score first in the game, so I’ll buy you chicken instead, all right?”

A small smile spread across Jonghyun’s lips, grateful that Dongho could still read his mood, even when he didn’t live with him and Mingi anymore.

“Chicken sounds perfect.”

***

Mingi was the last to go. He stayed the longest, and if Jonghyun was being honest with himself, Mingi’s departure was the one he dreaded the most. After all, he was his first friend in the agency, after spending one year living with the male managers.

With Mingi leaving, Jonghyun felt he was right back to where he had started—all alone.

Jonghyun knew Mingi was trying to delay the inevitable as much as he could, maybe because he understood, in his own way, what Jonghyun was feeling. He didn’t mention it at first, but Jonghyun saw the telltale signs all the same. It was the same with Aaron and Dongho—he had instinctively known that both were planning to leave, even before they actually did.

Jonghyun wanted his best friend to stay, he truly did, but even he knew that prolonging Mingi’s moving out only prolonged both their agonies.

“It’s okay, Mingi-ya,” he told him one evening, as they were hanging out in the living room, a rare occasion, because they’ve both been so busy and because their circle of friends have been expanding more and more.

“Huh?” Mingi looked up from the magazine he was reading. It was a fashion magazine, but Jonghyun knew there was a feature there about people who live alone in Seoul. Mingi was trying to be discreet about reading it, for sure, but Jonghyun could read him better than he could ever read any magazine.

“I’ll be fine,” Jonghyun smiled, even as his heart began to hurt all over again.

“Jonghyun-ah . . .” Mingi closed the magazine and reached his hand out, because they were best friends and reading the other person goes both ways. “It’s not . . .”

Jonghyun shook his head firmly. “We both know this was bound to happen sooner or later.” He smiled gently at his friend. “Thank you for staying as long as you did.”

Mingi bit his lip, scooted over to his side, and held his hand. “This will always be home for me,” he promised, even as Jonghyun read guilt and relief in his eyes.

“I know,” Jonghyun replied, squeezing Mingi’s hand in return. “But I won’t let our friendship hold you back any longer.”

Mingi shook his head. “You never held me back. I stayed because I wanted to.”

“And I appreciate it,” Jonghyun replied. “But really, it’s time.”

He saw himself reflected in his best friend’s eyes, and he wondered if Mingi was also reflected in his. After all, such often was the case, when one was on the brink of tears.

***

“Ah, right,” Jonghyun whispered, sighing as he dropped his bag on the floor. In his mind he was already thinking of what to order for supper. Maybe he should eat out instead? There was still light outside, and though he was tired, maybe he could call one of the boys and see who was available for a quick bite.

He was on his way to his bedroom when he noticed movement in the kitchen. Frowning, Jonghyun changed directions, and paused when he found Aaron and Dongho preparing ingredients for what appeared to be malatang, one of his favorite dishes.

“What . . . ?”

“Ah, Jonghyun-ah, you’re back,” Aaron smiled as he turned the electric stove on. “How was the shoot?”

“Ya, seriously, you should drop by the supermarket once in a while,” Dongho scolded him, closing the fridge. “All you have are instant ramyeon and cola. Are you even eating properly?”

Jonghyun continued to gape at them, even as the front door opened and closed, and he heard two familiar voices chatting animately behind him.

“We bought the tofu,” Minhyun announced, patting Jonghyun on the back as he passed by to hand the missing ingredient to Aaron. “We also grabbed some side dishes since we were already out.”

“And beer!” Mingi cheered, draping his arm around Jonghyun and grinning at him widely.

“ . . . what are you guys doing here?” Jonghyun asked, finally finding his voice back. They didn’t have a schedule as a group, so he thought the rest of his family made other plans for the day.

“Cooking dinner, what do you think?” Dongho answered matter-of-factly, inspecting the side dishes that the maknae line had brought.

“B-but . . . why?” Jonghyun asked, still befuddled.

“I’ve never tried cooking malatang before,” Aaron answered. “And it would be a waste if I cook just for myself.”

“Plus we never see you anymore except on TV,” Minhyun sniffed, hand already cleaning the mess on the kitchen counter. 

“We missed home,” Mingi smiled, squeezing his shoulder, then walking over to stop Dongho from finishing the side dishes before Aaron could finish cooking the main dish.

Jonghyun watched them, his little family, as they busied themselves in the kitchen, the way they did when they were all still living together. He grinned, automatically finding his place, helping Aaron finish preparing the ingredients, like they had done a thousand times before.

In the back of his mind he knew this wouldn’t be a regular thing, this coming together to eat dinner in the dorm.

But it was the ephemerality of it that made Jonghyun appreciate it, cherish it, more.

_But what does it mean—‘ephemeral’?” repeated the little prince, who never in his life had let go of a question, once he had asked it._

_“It means, ‘which is in danger of speedy disappearance.’”_

_“Is my flower in danger of speedy disappearance?”_

_“Certainly it is.”_

_– “The Little Prince,” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry_

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling blue today so I figured, why don't I make everyone join me in my suffering? >_<
> 
> This work is unbeta-ed. Yell for typos.
> 
> Visit [KP's Corner](https://twitter.com/thelittlebugi) for more of my plot bunnies and drabbles ^_^
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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